State of Life

I spend a lot of time in Starbucks. Starbucks and I hang out Monday and Friday morning in Torrance, Tuesday and Thursday in Azusa, and Wednesday in Laguna Niguel. It was a strange realization that I am more aware of who works at Starbucks than I am of my neighbors at home. Strange.

This semester marks the middle and second half of my doctorate. It is also the most gruelling schedule I have had to maintain, leaving me exhausted by Friday. I have found that this semester I have asked the questions of "why" and "how" more often than any other semester in my academic career.

The question of "Why". Why do I do this, why did I choose this profession? Why a doctorate? Why this schedule. I have to say that I love what I do when I am with patients, when I am with those precious little children. Hearing the stories is often painful, but as horrible as the story is, to sit, to play, to laugh, to offer hope to parents is beautiful, is renewing, offers hope, to parents but also to me. It is for me, evidence of Christ at work.

The question of "how". How am I ever going to make it out of this program? That is asked far more often than I ever imagined. How am I going to get through the amount of work that I have? How am I going to ever complete my dissertation? I ask these questions often.

In my very narrow focus of school I have to say that God has been amazing. In a year where all budgets were cut Jeff was granted money for a full-time intern. Something desperately needed for the youth at our church, and for Jeff's sanity! I am TA'ing a class with an incredible professor that continues to provide me an opportunity to read material that I love - spiritual formation - and be reminded of Christ's work in my own life and the lives of students behind me. The girls that I work with at our church are being nice to each other - most of the time. They are showing up to small group regularly - they are invested. My prayer for them, answered. I have really funny friends, who although I rarely see, make me laugh and remind me of the days of having the time to just "be" with good people. I need to be reminded of these little things - which I so rarely take time to note.

Resolution?

Happy New Year!

Last night we returned from an amazing Christmas holiday. Every time I get to go home, I find it more and more difficult to return to So Cal - the mountains in the NW I think call my name.

At any rate - it is now 2007 and it seems that the talk is about resolutions. Now, I'm not one for a resolution as I unlikely to keep it. But I did want to tell you a story of someone else.

Today, I went to Costco. I was quite surprised with how quickly I made it through the time sucking mecca of a grocery store. Then came the check-out. With the lines being surprisingly short I wheeled my cart to the end of a line. As I stood - and waited the register proceeded to break, twice, so I had the opportunity to listen to several people's conversations around me. Several surprisingly were talking about their "resolutions". Just as I was about to become annoyed with my wait this boy, probably about 8 years old, glasses, collared shirt, you get the picture - announced proudly to his mother that his New Years resolution was "not to eat candy anymore". His mother chuckled just as his father approached their cart with an assorted box of candy bars. The boys response, in an annoyed voice, "Dad, I don't like those, I want Twix".

I wonder if he will keep his resolution?